In this inspiring episode of The Don't Call on Me Podcast, hosts Eryn and Megan sit down with Patrick McKenna, an adult with dyslexia who has a powerful message for anyone navigating life with a learning difference. Patrick shares his personal journey—overcoming challenges, embracing his unique strengths, and finding success on his own terms.
Through candid reflections and heartfelt advice, Patrick reminds listeners that they are not alone and that dyslexia doesn’t define their potential. Whether you're a student, an adult, or a parent supporting someone with dyslexia, this episode offers hope, encouragement, and proof that success can come from following the path that life opens to you.
Tune in to hear Patrick’s story and discover how embracing dyslexia can lead to remarkable possibilities!
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Book a consultation with Eryn to discuss advocacy services.
With Love and Gratitude,
Megan, Eryn & The Don't Call On Me Team
[00:00:00] Middle School was hell. I think when you're growing in that age and trying to, you know what I mean, dictate like every decision you make, like am I saying the right thing? Am I saying this, saying that? And then you're trying to socially grow. I think it was a really weird mix because I was very athletic and I was a pretty decent athlete. So how do you mix a decent athlete in there as in playing sports is your social piece? But you struggle with the social piece, right? So you're connecting but not connecting.
[00:00:27] This is Megan, owner of Dyslexia On Demand. And I'm Erin, owner of Advocate to Educate. And we are the Dont Call On Me Podcast. We are here to talk about dyslexia, to remove the stigma, to hear what families really go through, and to share their stories. In both of our businesses and personal experiences on a daily basis, we listen to people telling their stories. Many of heartbreak, many of
[00:00:56] struggle, but most all have a silver lining. Even eventually. It's all about the stories. The more we share, the more we realize we aren't alone and we are a community. No, a tribe standing together. Today's episode is sponsored by Dyslexia On Demand. Dyslexia On Demand uses only the highest trained dyslexia therapists, and it's all one-on-one and individualized to your child's needs.
[00:01:29] The best part is that it doesn't matter where you're located because it's all virtual. Visit us at dyslexiaondemand.com to learn more. Today's episode is sponsored by Advocate to Educate. We help parents navigate through the confusing maze of special education in public schools in California.
[00:01:48] We support families starting as early as preschool through 12th grade, creating individual education plans to support the specific needs of your unique and amazing child. To learn more, go to our website, advocate2educate.com.
[00:02:07] All right, listeners. Today we have Patrick, who's here to share his dyslexia story with you all. So let's start. Patrick, tell us where you live and what brought you to the podcast today. Yeah, so I'm from Massachusetts, South Shore, to be exact. What brought me to this podcast? I got a message that wanted me to participate in this podcast because of dyslexia and kind of Facebook posts I made, and it kind of just transpired from there.
[00:02:36] Okay, so why don't you share with us what your first memory was of being dyslexic and how you remember those beginning years of school? Yeah, my first memory was in sixth grade. We just moved out of the city. I was doing a new school, middle school, and I was in an English class. Every student had to read a passage.
[00:02:59] So as in dyslexic fashion, I read what passage I was going to read from the Mona Heads in my classroom, passage 23, because there was 27 kids in the class. My philosophy was I'm just going to read as fast as I can and skip over the words I can't do. Simple as that. Well, that day, it was my third day of my first week, and I tried to do it, and one of my students called me out, and he goes, he mispronounced it.
[00:03:27] I don't know exactly what the word was, to be exact, and I'm glad I don't remember it, but it was humiliating. It was something that I'll always remember, and my teacher had to be 6'6". He had this big board stand. He looked like a judge, and he just came around, and I looked up, and he was intimidating and felt that pressure of, you know what I mean, as a sixth grader.
[00:03:51] He felt like reading. I got out of that class, and I remember I went to the resource room, and I said, hey, why am I struggling with reading? I kind of always had, like I knew something was there, but I didn't have it to say, hey, why? And I remember my resource teacher said, like, you have dyslexia, and I said, what is dyslexia? And that's when it kind of kick-started to like, all right, what is dyslexia? So it was humiliating, but also it was kind of like, kind of glad it happened.
[00:04:21] And I know that's kind of crazy to say that, but like it was for me to get to ask that question, because I think it was always in my mind to ask, but I had to go through that. So that was my first experience. So you mentioned going to resource. So I'm assuming you had an IEP, or you had something that's equivalent to what an IEP is in Boston. So when I was in Boston, I was in special ed classes. So I thought everyone was like that. You know what I mean? And especially at that age, I'm not comprehending everything around me, right?
[00:04:51] Well, I comprehended on that third day. You know, I asked my parents about it, and they're super supportive. It's not like they're going to say, hey, you have dyslexia. Like, I'm already going through confidence issues, being a kid and everything. You just don't want to put that on someone's plate. So yeah, and I was just blind by it. Like, I thought everyone was just like me until I got to that class. So I have to ask, your parents obviously had an awareness that you had a learning disability.
[00:05:15] And whether or not it was labeled as dyslexia, not uncommon for it not to be called that specifically. But had they ever had a talk with you about the fact that you had a learning disability? Or no, that was just what your programming was? You went to special ed. I think they're very educational. And like, they were, you know what I mean, teaching me different things. But it was more on my own. Like, I just didn't pick up on things. Like, I was in special ed classes ever since I started.
[00:05:45] And I just thought everyone, you mean, did all these different tools and different resources and stuff. It just didn't open up to being like, hey, you have dyslexia. Like, I knew something wasn't kind of all there. Like, I was like, oh, maybe I'm struggling a little bit. But it wasn't like, hey, you have dyslexia. Because I was in special ed classes. So everyone had something. So I just never knew something was wrong. But no, my parents are very supportive from the beginning.
[00:06:09] But they were being supportive in a way as in, you know, and being there for me and not kind of just, hey, you got dyslexia. Yeah, it's really interesting because my dad's dyslexic. And I don't know if they used the words dyslexia. But I remember you're saying like in third grade, what would you tell your child? And I think that we hear from all sorts of schools of thought, right? Like, do we tell them what it is?
[00:06:37] Because also when you were that young, I think the fear is that kids are just going to go online and start saying, why can't I read? And then they're going to find it themselves. Either way, it's great to hear from your perspective as an adult now, believing what your parents did was right for you as a human being, not just as a learner.
[00:06:58] Because we hear a lot of people that are really pissed at their parents because they didn't tell them what was going on. And so they assumed that they were just stupid. It's interesting to hear that, isn't it? Because I've had tons of parents, you know what I mean? Ask me like, what's your mom say? What's your dad say? And, you know what I mean? They asked me the same question. Like, why weren't you mad years later? I was just, you don't know how I would have took it. You know I would have completely changed.
[00:07:28] But I think in the overall why my parents didn't want to say nothing is because I was already in special ed. I didn't think there was an outside world. Like, I thought that's how everyone did everything. I was in my own bubble. It was the natural way to find out instead of my parents saying it. So I think it was the best organic way how it – but, like, I can't speak for everyone. Everyone's different. But for me, it was the best thing for me. Well, God bless that bubble. Really, right?
[00:07:53] Because a lot of times – I mean, obviously, a lot of kids don't have that bubble that they've created for themselves. And they kind of have just horrid thoughts about themselves from a really early age. But obviously, everything happened for a reason season for you because by the time that you did attach it to a name, dyslexia, in sixth grade, you were okay and ready for that. At that point, it was an answer.
[00:08:21] And that experience of being shamed by a teacher or, you know, reading – and, I mean, I remember those experiences much younger because I was in gen ed. So I remember, you know, being around everybody who – I was like, okay, I'm the only one here. Why can't I do this, right? So looking at everybody else and the reading out loud in class, and that's hence the name of our podcast, Don't Call On Me, is for the exact story that you just told.
[00:08:51] So tell us what happened after you went to this teacher and she explained to you what was going on. Yeah. So when I was – this is the new school and I'm out of the city and stuff. And, you know, just to give a kind of sideline information, like the city – the schools I was in the city were the great support. Boston Public Schools are great. When I went out to suburbs, I didn't get that support. And, you know, that's something that it'll probably be a question you ask me or you're probably going to want to know.
[00:09:20] It's like I have – years later, I don't look anything bad at the experience I went through middle school and high school. They just couldn't give me the right support. I look at it and take it on where I'm at now in life. Maybe if I was younger, you asked me that question, I would have been upset. But they just didn't give me the right resources for me, much as the IEP is a blessing in disguise for a lot of families. But a lot of schools just don't – they can't give you that stuff. They don't have the resources, the money, whatever it is. Yeah, middle school was hell.
[00:09:48] I think when you're growing in that age and trying to, you know what I mean, dictate like every decision you make, like am I saying the right thing? Am I saying this, saying that? And then you're trying to socially grow. I think it was a really weird mix because I was very athletic and I was a pretty decent athlete. So how do you mix a decent athlete in there as in playing sports is your social piece? But you struggle with the social piece, right? So you're connecting but not connecting. So I think middle school is, you know what I mean, a lot for me.
[00:10:18] And I don't think I really realized it until probably five years ago because I think I've done a couple talks. People ask me about dyslexia and I've been to conferences and I've spoken a couple things and I've been very more open as I've gotten older. Because I was replaying those days and like, wow, like I didn't know that was a struggle. Like I didn't know that wasn't, you know, when someone said I didn't know that was appropriate, I should have said something or, you know what I mean? My brain's going 100 miles an hour. I should have slowed myself down to stick up for myself or do different things.
[00:10:47] So you, did you survive in the sense of being an athlete? That was your strength. And that is what kind of made you get up every day to go to school was because of sports, but everything else was trailing along. And would you say that your self-confidence was, I guess at that time, confusing to yourself? Sports saved my life. I don't say that light like it did. It was my outlet away from school.
[00:11:11] I would remember in middle school, my gym teacher was probably, he was from a gym teacher from sixth grade, a junior year. He said, he helped me pass high school. Not just, it's not like he did my homework and all that. Like he looked at emotional support I needed to be able to think about having gym every day. And I could just run and be a kid and not think about anything. Going into the academic piece of it, math was a very big struggle.
[00:11:37] And of course, English is, but I remember this piece of how this connects to being an athlete. I was in seventh grade and I had this math class and, you know, my mom was very encouraging. She's like, you got to stay after, stay after. And I would take the late bus to go home. And when I wasn't in season and stuff or for practice or after practice, like she was really pushing me. And I would stay after. And we had this test on Friday.
[00:12:02] So I stayed after for the Friday, for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. And then we had the test on Friday. Stayed after every day. Test comes on Friday. He gives me the paper. And it's the same paper that he gave me yesterday and staying after. So as I was raised, I went up and I said, hey, like this is the same thing. This is not appropriate. You know what I mean? And he said, no, you deserve it. And thinking about that now, I did deserve it. Like I worked my butt off to be able to do it.
[00:12:30] When I took that same quiz per se on that Thursday, it was at 445. I remember the exact time because I took the exact test at 1045 in the morning the next day. So however many hours that was. That Thursday, I got 10 out of 10. The next day, I got 2 out of 10 within however many hours that is. I knew in that moment after I got the test, like when I sent it in, he's great in it. And as a dyslexia, we're very good at visuals, right?
[00:12:59] I wasn't really good at maybe comprehending a joke and stuff, but I can read people's body languages now. So when he's doing my test, his face dropped because he realized I got a 2 out of 10. So when everyone was out of the class and I was standing there, he like try to fix his face and try not. Because he knew I knew. And I just said, it's okay. I'm going to gym. It'll be all right. And I walked out. And I remember I sprinted in the gym and I was emotional. But then when I went to gym, after the gym, I didn't think about the MAP test.
[00:13:29] And that's when I realized I had a problem. Like my problem was getting bigger. But also I realized sports was an outlet for me that I could do something active and forget about it. So does that, you see how I kind of tie that into two things and to what you're talking about? So I hope that makes sense. Well, we say all the time how important it is for kids with dyslexia to have like another source of like a source of strength and confidence. And that's what sports was to you.
[00:13:55] So I'm so happy that you were able to find that at that age. And do you remember his name? Yeah, Mr. M. I can't pronounce his last name. Shout out to Mr. M. I hope he's listening at some point. I have to say like something about what you just shared. In my experience, I was a gymnast and I did gymnastics till I was about 12 and I hurt my back really bad and I had to quit. The way that you're describing sports, it was my family.
[00:14:22] I got to go to gymnastics after school from like age five until 12, four days a week for three and a half hours a day. I can relate to your story in the sense that I fully understand what it's like to have sports be your outlet and feel like, well, at least I'm good at that. And, you know, God bless those coaches, man. I have to say like coaches are special. That's all I got to say.
[00:14:49] There is something really special about watching a coach talk to a child. So I'm going to take a guess. How was your behavior? I'm not going to tell you what I think it was, but were you a kid that got in trouble? Were you a kid that was defensive on the outside like most teenagers are? How was your demeanor? Yeah, no, I wasn't the type of wilder getting in trouble. I think I could see that from, you know, other kids getting in trouble and stuff like that.
[00:15:16] But I also think I didn't get into trouble more as a kid because I didn't get certain social cues or certain things people were saying out loud. So it's kind of a blessing in disguise. I didn't know the social cues of back then growing up as a middle schooler and high schooler because I just I wasn't comprehending what certain things they were saying in class or, you know, I mean, going to potty and stuff like that. That just wasn't I was just focused in my school and my sports and stuff like that.
[00:15:44] So I was just going to say, I translated because you're talking about like social cues and then your accent came out and you said to go to potty. And I was like, to the potty? What? I always joke when my like I have a thick accent, but I've learned, you know, I tailor it back and stuff and everything like that. But it's so funny. I'll say patty and then I'll say, oh, people that say it in English, it's party. Yeah, right.
[00:16:13] No, I'm sorry. I had to translate in my head. I was like, that doesn't make sense going to the potty. But you're also talking about like not being able to catch social cues. All right. So tell us about so high school. Did you finish high school? What happened after high school? Yeah. High school is a lot. I was a good baseball player and a good basketball player. And baseball was my sport. And sports is kind of the highlight for high school because, like I said, it's my outlet.
[00:16:41] But I struggled a lot on the field. You know, I'm a visual learner. I had coaching that didn't show me. They were just telling me. And I can't comprehend that. But in the academic sense, it was survival. I will say this. I graduated with a sixth grade reading level. When you're in an IEP or you're dyslexic, all you hear is what he's got to work on this. He struggles with this. He's got to struggle with this. I don't know why they just could have started at what I'm good at.
[00:17:10] Because dyslexics, they always build on what you're bad at. Right. But I did hear one thing. My reading level was at sixth grade. School never really pushed me along. Maybe they pushed me along with, hey, we have support for you, but never used the support. But I was going up and just passing, you know what I mean, getting C's and B's and stuff like that. And I think a lot of teachers felt bad for me. And I don't like saying that because that's not how I am very humble.
[00:17:36] But if I look at it and being more open now at my age, I think teachers felt bad because I busted my butt to get through the class. Or staying after that math class in middle school doing the same thing and I'm just not getting it. It's not comprehending. I'm not, you know what I mean? And I can even see some of my teachers even kind of remember vividly how their body's language and their facial. So like they got emotional because I think they just knew I tried so hard.
[00:18:04] And they would say in the IEP meetings to my mom, they're like, because you always get report cuts. I would always get great kid, good kid, great kid, group kid. But I think they were saying to my mom, like, I've never seen a kid work hard. And especially what he has dyslexia. Like, I don't think he realizes how hard he's working. And of course, I mean, I do and I don't. Yeah, I passed. I graduated. Luckily, I went to a college. It's named Landmire College in Vermont.
[00:18:32] It's for kids that have ADHD, dyslexia, autism spectrum. There's great reading programs out there. Wilson really pushed me every week. The support they had there with I was using Kurzweil, Dragon. If you guys are probably familiar with those softwares and stuff. This is before text-to-speech with all the kids nowadays. That was a norm to talk and write for me. You know what I mean? If you think of dyslexics, our brains are going fast in our hands. That's why we're not good writers, right? So that slows you down and stuff.
[00:19:02] So that's the thing about me in college is how was I going to slow myself down? Because I'm always going, you know, 90 in a 65 every day. Like, I'm just getting a speeding ticket in my head. But how to slow that down. And they really taught me to learn different tools. The one I'll say all the time is if I have a flashcard, if I didn't know what an apple was, I draw an apple in front of the card. So when I'm doing flashcards at night, I'm remembering the visual and I can remember the definition.
[00:19:32] That was my professor, Mr. Bockham taught me that. It was mind-blowing to me that that's something you could do on a flashcard or just how I could remember it. I graduated from there, got my associates. I learned to read officially at my grade level or at 21. So how old am I now, 31? So 10 years ago is when I first started to read at my level. So just sometimes I say that out loud because I'm like, people are like, oh, when did you learn how to read?
[00:20:02] And everyone's typical, oh, this is – I say 21 because that's when I could finally feel like I could read. Not saying I'm perfect, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you can functionally. It's a functional – it's how we get through our day-to-day because we are in a society where 80% of individuals learning to read is like riding a bike and those that pick up on riding a bike very easily. It comes more naturally to them.
[00:20:31] It's not laborious like it is for us. It's not running a marathon to read a book. It's let me sit and enjoy reading, which I never quite understood.
[00:20:40] But I think what is really important for our listeners to hear because we have families that come to us at all ages and stages in both of our businesses and to hear that you did this once you were in college is really inspiring because a lot of times we hear that as – well, and we know scientifically as we get older, it's harder to reverse our habits.
[00:21:08] And the neural pathways that are already paved. But to hear that you did it will inspire other people to – and especially when Megan and I say it's never too late. It's never too late. It's – let's just do it to really hear somebody that's older that did it after traditional schooling because I don't hear it often. And I think it's powerful. Yeah, it is. I have parents all the time asking me about that.
[00:21:38] You know, my kid is in middle school. Is it too late? My kid's in high school. Is it too late? And it's not. So that's just kind of the proof. So, you know, you feeling like you could finally read is because you learned the mechanics of reading and spelling through Wilson. And you were able to create that neural network that was needed. So that's awesome. That's amazing. So what happened after you get an associate's degree? And what happened next? Yeah.
[00:22:05] So I went to – I transferred out to this school in Ohio called Notre Dame College. Not the Notre Dame. I was going to specify. Because, I mean, people will be like, oh, the Notre Dame. But I don't want to lie to them. But – It's all right. Just say it. It's okay. So the reason why I went out there, I could have went to a school back home. Two great programs. Curry College has a PAL program. I didn't go to those places because I wanted to go somewhere kind of out of the norm.
[00:22:34] I wanted to get away from, like, people I grew up with. Connecticut, I just didn't really connect with people down there. So I went to Ohio. I didn't even visit the school. I committed to go there before visiting the school because I was committed for baseball, Division II. But, of course, I did my research and the support and everything, and I had it. But I went out there after I committed. And this was, like, two months before school started. Went through, like, kind of the resources they had, and it was great and all that.
[00:23:02] But really the resources that they had there was just kind of the one-on-one tutoring. And they had people that you worked with writing and stuff like that. So compared to that, going from Landmark is, you know what I mean, huge because Landmark, they helped you in everything. So it was really a test for me to see I'm a Division II athlete and I'm doing just one-on-one tutoring. Like, how am I going to keep up and stuff? Because just to kind of give you a little shadow of Landmark, my GPA was only a 2.9.
[00:23:30] I was still working hard to even try to get or kind of maintain my dyslexia kind of understanding. And, you know, I had professors say, you should be able to be a lot higher, but you're just – these tests, you're just – you know what I mean? So when I went to Ohio, I did – I got my undergrad in special ed. I'm trying to remember the phrase that I've said before about why I did special ed, and I can't remember it. But something like, people have to read a book to know what special ed is. I am the book.
[00:23:59] And I remember saying that when I was 21 when I transferred, and it was kind of powerful that I said that in class because it was our first day of class. And they're like, why do you want to do special ed? And there's only like me and one other guy, and they're the rest of girls. And I just said like – and like I looked up, and I like pointed at everyone. I was like, everyone, the book in front of you, you have to read to understand what special ed is. I am special ed. Yeah. I am the LB.
[00:24:27] And I thought that was really powerful to say that, especially transferring to school and all that. And I remember a teacher pulled me aside after class, and she says, that was really powerful. I've never heard anyone just say that in my life. And I said – and of course me, I'm like, I apologize. I didn't mean to be out of disrespect, all this stuff. She said, no, no, Patrick. Like that's – that's – that's like – you're right. Like we're going to tailor you to – you know what I mean? You to learn and all these different things.
[00:24:51] So I went there for two and a half years, and I got my undergrad in special ed. If I have to like, you know, in however long we've been talking, name what your dyslexic strengths are, they're just like foghorns. I mean, it's empathy. It's determination and perseverance. Like those are some of the traits that a lot of times do come along with kids with dyslexia
[00:25:19] because of the road that you've had to walk. And it's very apparent that those are some of your like really large strengths. It's amazing. You reminded me when I was student teaching, the teacher was awful that I had to work with. And she literally told me to take this mug that had sticks with the student's name on them. And she'd be like, okay, pass out the book and then randomly call on people to read out loud.
[00:25:48] And I remember saying, well, isn't that kind of mean? And she said, no, you have to catch them randomly because this group of kids, they don't pay attention or something like that. So I actually went to the principal. And ultimately, to this day, I don't regret doing it because those poor little kids in this group all had learning disabilities and were being asked to read at random in front of their peers.
[00:26:14] It's just evil and it's a cesspool for humiliation. And I couldn't do it to them. Maybe I handled it. Maybe the lesson was don't go to the supervisor, go directly to her. But still, she was horrible. So that being said, though, I remember student teaching and I remember the experience of working with kids for the first time in that arena of not being a teacher yet, but training to be a teacher.
[00:26:43] And I guess I couldn't follow the rules, but that's okay. I respect you on that. So Patrick, are you a special education teacher now or what do you do in your day life? No, I'm not. I'm a college baseball coach and then I'm assistant director of admissions for a college down here at Mass. But I used to work with special ed kids in coaching and mentoring and kind of different things like that previous to that.
[00:27:13] But I'm still an advocate in special education and stuff like that. I've definitely, probably in the last six years of my life, I've had a lot of different people message me or have word from mouth of like, hey, can you talk to my son or daughter? And I'm always open. I'm very like, yeah, I'll talk. It's not just about sports as a dyslexic who's really a baseball player. I've talked to people that, you know, they don't play sports or they're in elementary,
[00:27:41] middle school, ADHD or anything like that. So I'm still really involved in special ed. So it's kind of nice. It's a kind of a happy medium to me. I'm still involved. And, you know, I mean, I'm still having people, you know, want me to do kind of like speeches and speak to people and stuff like that. I go to schools and stuff. So, yeah.
[00:28:04] No, that mentoring is so, so important because there are so many kids who don't have a voice or don't have a role model to look up to, to be able to recognize that their story is not, you know, they're not standing alone in that and that they could turn out like, you know, Mr. Patrick, you know, so I think that it's really powerful, but it's also, you know, I don't have dyslexia, but I have other stories.
[00:28:33] And sometimes whenever you're telling your story and supporting somebody else, it's actually really cathartic and helpful for, for us to just kind of continually manage those emotions and, and recognize what defines us and what doesn't define us. And sometimes some of the things that have been a struggle, obviously actually do really help to define us in those positive ways. Like I was mentioning all of your strengths, that determination, that empathy, and you recognize the connectivity in it all.
[00:29:02] So I'm really happy that you're doing that for kids still. And obviously I'm sure you're very impactful in your coaching work also. Thank you. Yeah. I think I am. Yeah. What I see is that you picked up what your kid self needed and the work you're doing now is really what you needed. You needed a coach that could explain things to you visually and show you what you needed to do to get better and to succeed.
[00:29:33] And here you are doing that for other people. So it's, it makes complete sense to me why you're doing what you're doing. No, it definitely taught me that not everyone learns the same. So when I coach, when I coach college kids now, I'll talk to them and I asked them, I'm like, how do you learn visually, catesthetically, auditory? And most of the faces I get is like this. Yeah. And they go, huh? And I go, how do you learn? Like, how can I teach you? Right.
[00:30:02] And these, you know, I mean, the kids I've coached over the years don't have anything, but they're like, I've never had a coach ask me that. So kind of reiterating what you just said. Yes. I feel like I've learned from my experience in high school and coaching, especially kids for, I did it for maybe seven years. And now I don't, but I do in my teaching now and I'm going up to kind of the coaching ladder and stuff that everyone learns differently. And no matter if they have a learned disability or not.
[00:30:32] And I'm still using that kind of strategies I've learned from people and what I've learned on my own. So yeah, it's, it's kind of awesome to make myself unique and different. I say I'm dyslexic all the time, not because I want people to feel bad for me. I say it because if I'm saying it out loud, I know there's a kid who's going to be like, well, why is he so confident saying that? So like a lot, a lot of kids that have ADHD will come and say, Hey, I have ADHD. And I go, what got you to say that? Or maybe it was tailored in the conversation. And they were like, you were just so open about your dyslexia.
[00:31:00] And I was like, yeah, I was like, I don't, I don't like, for example, like they'll have a list of names of this, the players. And a lot of the last names I can't read. And so like, I'm asking the other coach, how do you pronounce it? Or I'll asking, and you know, a couple of those players will laugh. Like you can't pronounce that. And I go, yeah, I'm dyslexic. And I confidently say it with a smile. And then that makes them uncomfortable. Yeah. And then they think, oh, wow, like he's just very open. Like, and so that makes me have better connection with my players, but also connection with those
[00:31:28] players that might have a 504, an IEP that don't talk about it. Yes. A hundred percent. Yeah. Come to my house. I say to my son, Hey, I asked you to pick this up. Why is it there? Why is it still on the floor? I'm dyslexic, mom. I'm like, no, I'm sorry. That doesn't work in that context. Nice try. All right. So what do you, in our other podcast, normally we get to this a little bit earlier, but when you were younger, let's just go back quickly.
[00:31:58] What was that little voice in your head? We always talk about on this podcast, that little voice that you can hear talking in the background that tells us negative things about yourself. What did that little voice say to you in children's language? Because obviously you were a child at the time. I think I had two. I had a positive and a negative, if I could say that.
[00:32:22] I think my negative was, I was saying to myself is, I can't do this. I cannot make my parents sad or upset. I felt like that was the negative on me, a burden on me. I felt like I knew something was going on, but I didn't know what it was, clearly is what we talked about. But I kept saying, I have to figure this out. I'm stupid. I'm dumb.
[00:32:51] All the different things you could say about yourself. But I was like, I have to figure it out. So I think that was my inner voice of just kind of how hard I was trying. It would just be like, you're dumb. You're stupid. You're other words that are not appropriate. But my positive was, even with those kind of inner voices and stuff, I was, I don't know how, well, actually, I know how much is going through that.
[00:33:19] My mom was so supportive and so positive, even when I was failing tests or throwing my bag on the top stairs and being exhausted every day from school. So that transpired in my personality. And I'm a very positive individual. But I think I just kept saying to myself, like, I can't let them down. I can't let myself down. So those are kind of my two inner voices. I can't let myself down. But also the negative would always come in. Like, you're dumb. You're stupid. Yeah.
[00:33:49] Awesome. Well, not awesome, but relatable. Yeah. Very, very relatable. Not what you meant. Yeah. All right. So if you could craft your life again, would you still choose to be dyslexic? A thousand percent. Yeah. Because it makes me unique and creative in different ways that people can't, you know, be. Me too. And then what piece of advice would you want to give other kids that are going through
[00:34:18] this and they're in the struggle? I would say that you're going to have to accept that you're going to get punched in the face more than someone that doesn't have something, but you got to learn how to get up too. So that's what's just going to make them stronger. The learning's going to come, but it's that outer shell that we don't talk about. We don't talk about what's that thing. That's when someone calls us dumb or stupid, like you just got that has nothing to do with you.
[00:34:48] That has everything to do with them. And to add this last thought here, you know, if and one day our schools actually from kindergarten provided what you and I both needed, this Wilson intervention or any scientific method to teaching a child to learn to read, write and spell from the beginning, then we would still have the
[00:35:16] jet perseverance obviously is something that we still need to teach our children. But if, for instance, your first college experience at Landmark, that like inclusivity, that support and that help was from the beginning, then that feeling of being so dumb and different may not be as strongly correlated to our experience in school because we actually had the proper support and
[00:35:45] encouragement and understanding that we needed to be taught in this particular way and to actually, you know, get that. But I think what I'm trying to really express is there's a solution here. Is it perfect? No, because of life brings us all sorts of issues that come up. But this is one that it's so sad that we're still dealing with this. It's so sad that our school systems are still doing this to children. And it's something that could be fixed.
[00:36:14] And Megan and I, like we talk about this all the time. It's such a big problem that is going to take years and years to resolve. But my hope is that maybe my grandkids at some point, knock on wood, I have the grandkids, right? That maybe they won't have to feel different or dumb because they're genetically predisposed, one of them most likely to be dyslexic.
[00:36:40] So, you know, with more and more advocacy and more change within our school systems, we have the ability to turn this ship around. It just, there's a lot of work to do. Can I give you advice on a parent that has a student with dyslexia, if you don't mind? So I say this to every, I say two advices. One's very brutally honest and one is honest.
[00:37:04] So my honest one is when you work with a student that is looking at a school or an IEP meeting or whatnot, I hear over the year, and this is how I learned it. I called it the magic five. When I went for a college visit, I wrote everything I needed, all the support. When I went there, the guy said, yeah, I just said that we had that, but we don't have all that support. So I went out of the room, I left, went home and I said, how am I not going to make the same mistake?
[00:37:35] And as a young 17 year old, my mind's racing like how it was my inner voice as a young kid. And I says, when I go into an admission office or I go into an IEP, I'm not going to tell them what I get in need. What can you offer me? Ask that question. And I tell parents that and they go, I bet you nine out of eight, nine out of 10 times, they're going to say, oh no, tell us what, no. What can you offer?
[00:38:05] Because if you ask that question, they have to tell you what they offer. And if they offer two out of the five, one, maybe three, you're going to go there. No. So that's advice I give to parents that are trying to maybe go public to private or private to public or homeschool route or an IEP would add this or remove this. Ask them what they can offer. If they can't offer as much as that you want for your kid, why would you go there?
[00:38:32] And that's something that I found the right school for me. And I've helped people find the right school for them. My second brutally honest one, and not a lot of people like to hear this. I think we live in a world that people compare kids to kids. And I think that I don't care if my kid goes to a community college and then goes some maybe to like, I don't know, like Nichols College, like a small division three or something like
[00:39:00] that, I think with the persona of going to what you were just saying about your grandkids and hopefully it's not the same. I think that has to be tied in there. We look so heavily like, well, my kid could go somewhere and get the right support and then eventually be okay. But I don't want them to be labeled and stuff. So it's not just the kid being labeled. It's the parents don't want to be labeled. Yeah. So it's more of an internal work with the parents. So when I've had conversations with parents like that, I'm very honest.
[00:39:30] And I said, this is how you got to look at it. If you focus on your kid's route, it might not be the route that you wanted growing up, but is it going to be the best route? So that's the two vices I give. I want to say because I hope that helps someone. Yeah. It's a little bit of looking in the mirror. That's a, I've never heard anyone say that. I think it's, it's worthwhile because sometimes you got to dig into, especially when parents
[00:39:57] don't want to share even it's kind of like digging, dig into that, dig into that a little more. Why? And, and one piece that I'm compelled to say is also another piece of advice is that reading, writing, and spelling for dyslexics are most of the time, maybe not all three, but one of them will remain hard even after intervention.
[00:40:22] And even after practice, it's still a pain in the booty. It's still like, I mean, still to this day, the tasks that I put off and procrastinate on are those that are reading, writing, and spelling related. I never thought I'd be in a career where literally my job is to read IEPs and assessments on a daily basis. So I have picked a field that I am so passionate about.
[00:40:50] I'm willing to go through what's my own little torture to do it, but you could end up learning to love to read. And the more you do it, the better you become. But that practice for us is not practice where we read it once. No, practice is rereading something over and over and over and over again and reading it when there's some background noise and reading it at a park and reading it in a library, like
[00:41:19] reading it in all different areas. Like, can I focus what I'm reading and take in the information? And it's practice, practice, practice, practice, practice to the point where most kids don't have the determination to get through all of that, to get to the level that the parents expect it to just be easy. I mean, spelling, forget it. Like, forget it. If I don't have spell check, I'm going to look like a 10-year-old when I am.
[00:41:47] And I mean a successful 10-year-old, but nonetheless, it's still going to be hard. And that's okay. And take care of the emotional piece because we're all bad at something. But this just happens to be something that comes up in our society all the time. So it ends up being a bit obvious when this is the area that we're trying to dodge. No, you do. You have to manage the whole child.
[00:42:15] We can fix the language processing part. And even with that, it's all relative to the child's ceiling, right? Yeah. But you can't forget about the rest of it. So, yeah. Well, Patrick, you've been awesome. I know you have a deadline. And so anyway, we really appreciate it. Oh, a potty, not to the potty. Like, I'm going to go to it in a second, but to a potty. Yeah. Patrick, thank you.
[00:42:45] Thank you. Thank you. I'm already thinking about a bunch of kids I want you to connect with and keep in touch and let us know all the great work that you do. And let me just say one thing. Listeners, thank you so much for listening to Patrick's story. And we'll see you next time. That's a wrap on this episode of Don't Call On Me. Remember, dyslexia is part of your story, not the whole story. Stay strong, stay inspired, and we'll see you next time.